Optimisticisation

For most of my life I’ve been treated like a child. Well, being the oldest child I was expected to be an adult while I was quite young, but now I am a ‘grown up’ and I find that other adults seem to think that I’m not as responsible as them, which is weird because I definitely pay tax and drink wine.

My first job out of university was essentially an entry level data entry role. The focus there was not so much on staff retention or happiness, but profits. That’s cool, you’re a business, I get it, but I would have thought that retaining staff would be more cost effective; less training, less overtime and a harmonious work environment. Whatever, I’m no business mogul.

So I left that place without really having a plan. Well, no, I did have a plan. I was going to be a socialite and independently wealthy and wear pretty dresses and attend dinner parties, but even in my fantasies this doesn’t go well.



Yeah, I’ve always wondered who I’d like to have at my fantasy dinner party. I think Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be suitably dreamy guests. Maybe Justin Long, he’s dreamy too. Oh and Buddy Nielsen. He’s my hero. He’s the lead singer of Senses Fail which is my favourite band of all time. In fact, in the unlikely scenario that I am stuck on an island and for some reason it has a CD player and I can only bring 3 CDs with me for all eternity, I would take two Senses Fail albums; Let it Enfold You and Still Searching. I might also bring a mixed classical CD because classical music tends to be long and so I’d get the most ‘bang for my buck’. In maths they call this optimisation.

But I’d choose optimisticisation over optimisation. Optimisticisation is something I made up just then. It is where the island happens to have a resort, and other people with their 3 CDs each. And those other people will be Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Justin Long. And Buddy Nielsen :).

In conclusion, I am looking forward to getting a job finally being treated like an adult. And I’ll get to wear suits and check my calendar and attend functions. Then I’ll pay my HECS and get a mortgage and retire. I have it all under control :).