I’m pretty impatient.
I think I broke my computer. The Internet dropped out while I was in the middle of doing my tax return, so I thought, “I’ll show you” and turned my computer off. However, when I tried to turn it back on it was taking ages, so I turned it off while it was trying to start up. Then I started it again and it went to repair mode. When it was taking too long to repair I turned it off again.
It’s currently trying to start up again. It’s taking way too long, so I put a coat on over my pyjamas and I've driven over to my parents’ place. At 1:30am.
I might buy a new computer. This is kind of my approach to life; if it’s too hard, give up. I don’t know where I got this philosophy. I don’t think anyone has really expected much from me, so "at-least-you-almost-tried" has been sufficient.
This was until recently. It’s weird; lately I’ve been a bit ‘gung ho’ with my life, which has never ever been the case. I remember being in year 10 and having no idea what subjects to choose for college. My friends all seemed to have it together, and most have followed the paths they chose back when they were 16, but I was terrified of choosing the wrong subjects and ruining my life.
It turns out ruining your life isn’t so bad. I’ve ruined my life on *many* occasions now. People are remarkably resilient. I spent my first year out of school just fucking everything up. I went to (and subsequently withdrew from) CIT twice, messed up at two jobs and burned bridges with two of my major friendship groups. My life was a mess.
From there I enrolled at the University of Canberra to do Nursing. The next year I enrolled in Communication and Media Production. I completed that degree, then jumped into full time employment. Rebuilding my life has been a tough, slow and sometimes painful process. I've always had it in my head that the only measure for ‘success’ is ‘gainful employment’.
So when I quit my job in July I was certain I had ruined my life again. It turns out that some time to reflect was exactly what I needed. I’ve been plodding along for years without really thinking what I want to be doing, or where I want to be.
As it turns out I know where I see myself in five years. Ready?
A Supermodel!
Nah, I kid. I just want to be happy. I want to know myself, be good at what I do and just keep developing new skills and interests. Even if the new skills and interests are personal development; growth is imperative.
So, I think that’s my quest in this life, to overcome this unrequited and profound self-hatred. Starting… Now.
I think I broke my computer. The Internet dropped out while I was in the middle of doing my tax return, so I thought, “I’ll show you” and turned my computer off. However, when I tried to turn it back on it was taking ages, so I turned it off while it was trying to start up. Then I started it again and it went to repair mode. When it was taking too long to repair I turned it off again.
It’s currently trying to start up again. It’s taking way too long, so I put a coat on over my pyjamas and I've driven over to my parents’ place. At 1:30am.
I might buy a new computer. This is kind of my approach to life; if it’s too hard, give up. I don’t know where I got this philosophy. I don’t think anyone has really expected much from me, so "at-least-you-almost-tried" has been sufficient.
This was until recently. It’s weird; lately I’ve been a bit ‘gung ho’ with my life, which has never ever been the case. I remember being in year 10 and having no idea what subjects to choose for college. My friends all seemed to have it together, and most have followed the paths they chose back when they were 16, but I was terrified of choosing the wrong subjects and ruining my life.
It turns out ruining your life isn’t so bad. I’ve ruined my life on *many* occasions now. People are remarkably resilient. I spent my first year out of school just fucking everything up. I went to (and subsequently withdrew from) CIT twice, messed up at two jobs and burned bridges with two of my major friendship groups. My life was a mess.
From there I enrolled at the University of Canberra to do Nursing. The next year I enrolled in Communication and Media Production. I completed that degree, then jumped into full time employment. Rebuilding my life has been a tough, slow and sometimes painful process. I've always had it in my head that the only measure for ‘success’ is ‘gainful employment’.
So when I quit my job in July I was certain I had ruined my life again. It turns out that some time to reflect was exactly what I needed. I’ve been plodding along for years without really thinking what I want to be doing, or where I want to be.
As it turns out I know where I see myself in five years. Ready?
A Supermodel!
Nah, I kid. I just want to be happy. I want to know myself, be good at what I do and just keep developing new skills and interests. Even if the new skills and interests are personal development; growth is imperative.
So, I think that’s my quest in this life, to overcome this unrequited and profound self-hatred. Starting… Now.
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