Two weeks ago I gave myself a Tarot reading which had “The
Tower” as the final outcome.
The Tower, for those of us who don’t buy into divination,
(which is pretty sensible really – Tarot and astrology work for me because they
let me see things from a different perspective, a sort of mindfulness technique
I developed for myself… (Mindfulness, for those who don’t buy into psychology,
is a technique to pay attention to your present experiences without judgement,
and accepting them for what they are))
…
Where was I?
 |
| The Tower |
Oh yes. The Tower
represents the tearing down of belief structures. It is the moment where we discover a shocking
truth which shatters our perceptions and makes us reassess our beliefs.
“Pfffft, what a crock!” I said to my Tarot reading. “My life is amazing! Work is fantastic; my boyfriend is super nice
to me; I’m purchasing lots of books… Really, there’s nothing that could tear
this solid structure apart!”
I stood up from the table, turned around and saw it in the
corner of my eye – the device which assigns all my self-worth. I’d been
avoiding it for some months, but suddenly I was allured, compelled and my curiosity
took hold.
I stepped on the scales and my world came crumbling down.
Curse you Tower!
Before this revelation I’d suspected I had put on a little
winter weight, my clothes were a bit tight and I was generally feeling quite frumpy
and uninspired, but the number that flashed before me was far larger than I
expected.
I cried. I went into
work feeling sorry for myself; embarrassed that everyone there could see me
with this “winter weight” bulging over my regular-Sam sized pants.
I decided ‘losing weight’ wasn’t going to cut it this time. I have lost weight so many times in my life,
and I always manage to find it again.
When I lost something as a child, an adult would usually come over and
help me find it again, and I believe the same thing has been happening with my
weight. (Damn adults always bringing me
back my unwanted kilos!)
So I’m enacting a lifestyle change.
I’m tearing down those old habits and structures and I’m rebuilding
myself. I’m going to the gym, drinking more water and I’ve stopped having
seconds.
And I’m feeling good. (Birds in the sky, you know what I mean). I’ve lost a few kilos already and my aforementioned
amazing life is just getting a little more smiley.
The Tower is a scary card to draw in a reading. Unveiling a truth
which will violently alter our belief system is frightening, but it is also
liberating. It allows us to find what is
stable and reliable; what will stand rather than fall apart. Now I can build
something from a solid foundation, and I get to design it myself!
This time my tower will stand with its head held high and its
measurements with a perfect waist to hip ratio!
